Net

I feel like no matter where I go, no matter where I've gotten treatment frpm for this damn disease, I'm always met with a net. A net of people. Sometimes the same, extremely devoted people who have been with me on this crazy trail from the beginning, and sometimes new ones, like all my friends in London. And now old friends, like I have found here in NY, who have walked back into my life like no time has passed at all.  In fact, in walked my friend Emerson from fourth grade who has changed only in the sense that he is just more deeply his fabulous, funny, life-loving self. And my friends Darcy and Susan from college who I haven't seen in maybe 10ish years who came by with deep love and support and hilarious memories. My friend Andrea who brought her beautiful daughter Katie today to paint daisies on my toes. They walked in early, right when I felt my mood drooping and scooped me up. I don't even think they knew what a world of good their whirlwind of decorating and organizing and jokes did for me today.  I think the bottom line is that whenever you have a hunch that someone's in need, don't hesitate. I only hope I can pay this forward one day soon. I really look forward to it. I feel really blessed and grateful for my Peoplenet.

Today, Susan and I received a really nice gift. We were sitting here reminiscing, sitting in the sunny window while she sweated under the protective garb all my visitors have to wear, when I get a tap on the window on my door that leads to the hall and I see a small Shofar and a man asking if we'd like him to come in and play it. "Of course. Please!" we said. He said a prayer about a sweet new year in Hebrew and we said Amen and he proceeded to blow the Shofar, really beautifully. I couldn't believe how cleansing and invigorating it felt, like a call to action. It felt all about moving forward with strength, leaving the past behind. I loved it. It was perfect. 

I'm stilling feeling just fine. Tomorrow I start a new type of chemo. I'm too lazy to look up the name now, but it sounds unusual.  Like nothing I've ever taken. The nurse said it leaves your body pretty quickly, through your pores, so that one hour and also five hours after getting it, you have to take a shower so that your skin doesn't get stained the color of the chemo. They call it bronzing. But I don't think it's necessarily a good color, like a tanning salon color (is that a good color?) I think it's a weird color. So I'll for sure be clean tomorrow...

The only side effects I can feel so far are some food aversions. Or maybe I'm just super tired of the hospital's Low Microbial Diet that I've been on for a week. Everything has to be cooked. And if anyone knows me, they know I'm a salad girl. But today, I kind of had a hard time getting anything down that wasn't a little bit sweet tasting. And it's so ridiculous because what's the one food you should stay away from when you have cancer? Sugar.  One battle at a time here. A girl has got to eat!