So far so good? I have a nurse who keeps telling me "one day at a time." I guess now I understand why people have those bumper stickers on their cars? But I think I'd rather need mine in my car! How many times do you come up from behind your cars to get in?
When I was young I saw those stickers a lot. It was when AA was really getting popular. I had NO idea what they meant. One Day At A Time? Hmmm. I think it's a concept that has to grows on you. And it might also just be a concept for grown-ups. I have mentioned it to Isaac a few times when he'd say he was feeling sad because he missed me. It seemed so foreign to him and I'm not sure it was of any comfort to him. It seemed maybe even puzzling. But I planted the seed and said, "It's really all we've got. Today. Right now. So let's enjoy it as much as we can and if you feel sad, you just feel it. And then other emotions will come along too. I promise. We just have to feel them all as they come. Sad, happy, fun, all of them." I was for sure talking to myself just as much as I was talking to him.
What made me think of this was because last night, after I wrote in the blog about how ecstatic I was feeling, and I was all done writing and I put the computer on sleep, and I was flipping around the channels and there was absolutely nothing on, all of a sudden I got really sad and really lonely. Bam! Just like that. And of course I called Andy and started crying and he can't even understand what I'm saying because I'm blubbering so much and he's trying to talk me down off the ledge and then reminds me to take it one day at a time. He said, "As hard as it is now, we're both so glad I'm here". I think he's coming for the transplant. Just for a few days. I'm so glad he can swing it. He deserves to see those beautiful cells go in. It'll be quite a day.
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