"Hope in the face of difficulty"- Barack Obama

I know some people thought Obama's acceptance speech was too similar to his same speech four years ago.  Politically I don't know if that's good for him or bad for him, but for me, hearing his words did me a world of good. I feel like he and Joe Biden are really bootstrap kind of guys. They have moved through extremely difficult, heart-wrenching situations and are simply amazing people for it.  On a personal level, they are incredible role models with great dispositions and character. They don't blame anyone for their pasts or their present struggles (well maybe Repubs in Senate a bit) and their personal struggles have never stopped them from working, helping, serving, caring, thinking, educating, consoling or loving. It's impressive. I truly don't mind them flying my plane.

Character and disposition are so huge in someone's life. Are you born with it? Do you shape it? Can you actually change, control, direct your disposition?  I feel like my disposition can change with the wind. I might be really hard on myself one day, and then totally forget to do it the next. I might feel totally guilty about this long hospitalization and separation from my family one day, and then the next I feel like this is about me and I should stay focused on just getting through the transplant and getting well.  

Or, one day, I might be so "on", shooting good witty jokes and laughs (usually the type that I think is funnier than anyone else does, but someone has to!) and other days I can't scrape two coherent or interesting words together.  And this is all before I even start the chemo!!

I'm thinking about all this, not only because of the speech but because I spent the day with Isaac and Dee. Two people whose characters and dispositions surprise and delight me all the time. I hope I am as kind and fun as they are. They're consistently mensches and I couldn't be prouder to know them or be related to them.  Dee has this gentle sense of humor that can knock sense into you at the same time. And Isaac is so warm, and focused, loving and courageous.  I love taking my cues from people like them because they are unwavering and devoted to being loving.  Maybe I'm like that, maybe I'm not. I hope so.  Maybe that's really just up to other people to decide.  Meanwhile, I'll just keep admiring it and hope that some of it rubs off.

I'm not saying I really want to change myself. I like myself a lot just as is. But everyone is always striving to be better. Sometimes I have visions of myself, after my new cells go in, of jumping into a phonebooth and coming out with a flashy cape on that says "Stem-Cell Girl!!!" on it. And I'd be all buff and psyched and at anyone's disposal if they need to have the world saved. Doesn't that sound good? Today, that is my crazy way of having hope in the face of difficulty.