How do people blog and live a life at the same time?
I had the pleasure of catching up today with a visit from an old friend and work mate, Elizabeth, from probably my first meaningful job out of college. No offense to anyone I worked for or with previous to when I started teaching English as a Second Language and Adult Basic Education to garment workers. But teaching helped give my life some nice significance at a time when I really needed it. Much more so than being in the commercial photography business. That was fun, but it lacked that aspect of feeling helpful I was looking for.
I have such fond memories of teaching and it was so reassuring to see Elizabeth. She has not changed at all. (Besides having two boys and a career teaching college anthropolgy in Boston. Not shabby) I can't tell you how reassuring it is that people don't change too much. I appreciate so much when I can go back and be with people from different times in my life and feel like I'm there again. It's like time travelling.
I think it's because I feel like I've changed so much since my beautiful-successful-awesome-life -saving-stem-cell-transplant. (There's a juicing/healthy life advocate/cancer survivor named Kris Karr who calls everything Crazy Sexy. She even has a book called Crazy Sexy Cancer. I'm going to borrow from her and call my transplant my Crazy Sexy Transpant). Elizabeth suggested this feeling of change I haven is something called "Post-Traumatic Growth". I've never heard of it but I love it. It's so American. Optimistic. If you google it, you get tons of articles and "research' on it.
On the questionable side, I could see this placing pressure on people who don't feel it to think they should, and then in turn, making everything worse for them. It teeters on that same pressure to "heal" yourself of cancer or to figure out and change what ever it was that caused your cancer in the first place. Like it was your fault. I can't stand that. Take one look at a baby with cancer and try to apply those ridiculous rules. BUT! I have to say that the growth aspect of being post cancer does just naturally resonate with me. I am so grateful for that. And lucky.
The other excellent thing Elizabeth suggested was to actually plan out a time in my week to blog. Duh. So simple, right? But I truly hadn't thought of it. I get very busy organizing my kid's lives and all the other mommy stuff, that I have completely left my blog out. Whoops! The only thing I have scheduled in my life are my magic, freaky, very awesome accupuncture appointments and some yoga. But I can go beyond that! I can schedule in a blog or two... It's helped me so much to blog.
So, each day I still wake up and pinch myself. And double take at my lovely family. I still marvel at practically everything, which might make me slightly annoying. I'm not sure.
I still have a horrible short term memory. My goodness, how many times a day can I say to myself, "What was I thinking? What was I doing?" Yikes. It's crossword puzzles for me! If I can remember to do them...
I'm still getting Azacytadine once a month for 5 days. My acupuncturist says I can no longer get the shots in my belly. It goes straight into my chi. So I got them in my arms last week and it's was so much easier. And I had no side effects! Hope to say the same next month.
I still get to live in London and travel to lovely places. I've been to Rome with Isaac and Paris with my Aunt. Fantastic. I get to go to Greece with my family and Edinburgh for the Fringe festival. And to Israel for Isaac's bar mitzvah. I feel proud of that. Jews are an endangered species. We need to fight that.
I'm hoping to become an Immerman Angel. They are a fantastic non-profit in Chicago that links up cancer survivors with people who are just beginning their cancer treatments and might want to talk to somebody who's been through what they are thinking about choosing for treatment. At the beginning of my diagnosis they hooked me up with about 20 people. I talked to all of them. At the time, I think it might have made me partially crazy to have so much information, but when I look back, it was so helpful and reassuring to talk to all those ALIVE people! I feel so ready to offer my story or path in hopes that it might help give someone clarity to someone. Cancer is scary stuff.
And lastly, (for today at least) I remember years ago, (almost 4?), when I ended my first year of treatment and thought that was it. Done. So, I asked if anyone wanted to join me in a juice fast/detox fest. I got a lot of takers but we never did it. I guess I was too distracted with moving to London, or whatever. But since, I have bought a juicer (a Phillips) and I'm obsessed. If I can get in 3 juices a day, I'm in bliss. In yoga there's a word "prana" which means life force. I feel like the juicing fills every single cell in my body with the most fabulous prana. Here's my favorite recipe:
Carrots
Kale
Spinach
cucumber
beetroot
ginger
lemon
apple
apricot
It is sooooo yummy. I'm sure you think I'm crazy. I totally suggest the whole world try it. Find your own fav recipe. Pass it on.
much love always, Dina
