Tricked into Sleep

Kaethe arrived on Monday from Colorado. My best friend from 6th grade, and counting. I blubbered (as my Aunt Dee calls it) for a while at the front door. But since then my blubbering has become a little less constant. Easier for everybody I am sure. The doctor also pulled me down a peg off the Prednisone and I am sure that is helping. But I still hadn't slept at all by Monday night and I was all worked up about it in my mind. It was like I had forgotten how to do it and was afraid of every sleep-aid staring at me from the bedside table. The doctor said to try taking double the Ambien. That had me double freaked out. Would it double not work? Would I be awake all week? And then Tracy and Kaethe take over. It's bedtime, they're in my room with me telling funny stories about people who sleep, people who don't, maybe we should import some medical marijuana from Colorado... and then all of a sudden Tracy's got those 2 Ambien in her hand and hands them to me, says, "take them", and I did. And I slept. And again last night too. Those tricky girls. But, talk about the difference between night and day. Corny.

Today is a bit of a big day. I go for a bone marrow biopsy this morning. Not only are they painful, more importantly, they show the whole deal of how your bone marrow is growing. So they're a bit nerve-wracking.  My blood counts since the transplant have been very good. The doctor seems really pleased. And it's all I can do to just steep myself in her words and not let my wandering mind go off anywhere it has no business being (which is its favorite pastime...)

So tonight is my last night at Tracy and Larry's beautiful home till I move over to Hope Lodge tomorrow. I can not thank Tracy and Larry more for embracing me so hard. There's a whole lot of love here. And just being able to sit outside, walk in nature, breathe real air. I think I've become a bit of a nature girl. Especially when it comes to healing. And I have to say I'm a little nervous to go live in the city for two months. I'm curious about Hope Lodge, and I know the proximity to the hospital is huge. But to me right now I'm kinda wishin' Hope Lodge was on top of a mountain in California overlooking the water where I can just sleep on warm mossy rocks.

Today is Day +33: Plan the next 4 girls trip. 

The 4 girls are Kaethe, Allison, Susanne and me. I written about them many times here. Somehow we were anointed with the title, 4 Girls, I don't know when. High School probably. They have always been my foundation. Unchanging even as we've changed and moved through our lives.  We've taken some fun trips together. But way too few. And my complete healing from this transplant will definitely be celebrated with a trip for us. For three years they have been next to me every step of the way. I think of the tears, and exhaustion and laughs, and I can easily start blubbering again. For me, just to PLAN something is such a gift. It brings a sense of peace to me I can't describe.