Rest. It's something you would think I could be potentially very good at. First certified yoga training in 1985. That's a long time to study, practice, or at least be aware of the concept of rest. Relaxation. Breathing. And if it was you I bet I could talk you down into a blissful deep relaxation ASAP. But for me-- what a rig amoral! To get myself to sleep. Haven't been able to do it. But I have great expectations for tonight (expectations, those should help...)
I"m going to take an Aveeno bath and maybe NOT take an Ambian. I think I'm the only person in the world Ambian has a reverse effect on. Is that even possible? Maybe I just forgot how to sleep at night? But I stayed up all day today and I'm hoping to start leaning more toward normal everyday. To have faith that my strength will return. To have faith that I will in due time be very capable of taking are of myself and my family again. To have faith in body, mind and soul and live in that place as often as I can. And it pops up again--to be gentle with myself. It's been a lifelong challenge. Gentle with myself. Gentle with myself. Gentle with myself. I need a blackboard and some chalk so I can write it 100 times. But that's not even funny! That's not being gentle with myself at all! Yeah! I could punish myself into being gentle!
Ok. Must breath. I bid you all a restful, beautiful night.
Day +30-- REACH FOR THE STARS (sounds a lot like yoga to me...)
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