Saturday 25 August 2012

Starry-Eyed for My Guys

The guys are heading back to London right now. Hopefully they're peacefully snoozing and won't be too wrecked for school on Wednesday.  It's so hard to adjust timewise going in that direction. And as much as I wish they could come see me every three weeks, the wear and tear on them, and the cost of flights obviously makes that impossible.

This last time away from them was three weeks and I felt like I was going to crack in half. I couldn't handle not seeing them for another second. Then they came, and my entire world went from night to day. This time, I won't see them until maybe October 6th! That is a long long time. It will be after the transplant.  It feels so foreign and abstract.

Right now, because I'm so thrilled with having seen them, I feel very motivated. Nose to the grindstone.  Plow through this transplant. Get through it. Get through the tough parts. Reboot and get home. As far as this last round of chemotherapy goes, my blast counts are down to 4-6%. This is good. They have to stay there. This was the part that made me so upset about the date of the transplant being pushed out further. It's seven days more that these counts need to stay down and this freakin' disease is nasty and obnoxious. Kicking it's ass is a real pain in the ass... As Dr. Giralt said, "All the stars need to align".

So toinght I'm just going to go to bed, my head on Isaac's pillow because it smells like him, and just be thankful for all my blessings and knowing that the stars will align for me, for my kids, my family.
Sweet Dreams
Dina



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