Frying Pan

Remember those cartoons, like Tom & Jerry and Foghorn Leghorn when they get hit in the head with a frying pan? And they sort of wobble around and their eyes turn into "X's"? And after a bit, they snap out of it, shake it off and return back to normal?  Well, that's me. 

This last round of chemo really had me under the weather. I realize I am terrible at being sick, and I am so sick of cancer. I am so wanting to get over this thing. It's so hard to not feel well. Everyone says, "Take care of yourself".  But it's SO HARD! 

Is it a mom thing? A woman thing? I'm very used to taking care of other folks. Putting others first. I actually enjoy it and it's such a big part of my identity. But instead, now my family and friends are keeping me patched together. Taking care of me. Keeping me fed and rested. Organizing all my tablets. Letting me preserve my energy for when I am with my kids.

Today was good. We bought shocking bright pink geraniums to put around the Japanese maple in the back. And Ari picked-out a Lupin.  What a really cool looking flowering plant. Now I just need to find a good "full sun" spot in the garden for it. Full Sun in England. Hmmm. Challenging. 

So, as far as cancer goes...I've got my options. Today I'm super grateful for the researchers in Canada who communicated with Panos yesterday (on a Sunday no less) and agreed to give him a protocol for Thiorizadine for me, so I don't have to wait for them to begin trails. This is an anti-psychotic drug that is being tested as an anti-cancer drug. The questions about this drug were raised by the low-level of cancer in in-patient psychiatric patients. 

I have a biopsy scheduled this Thursday to see the progress of the Azacytidine.  Maybe I'll get the results on Monday? 
I've got my friend Andrea here with me now. She's a friend from Isaac's pre-school days.  Pre-school is such a great time for mommies and daddies to make friends. You get to muddle through those crazy years together, and it makes it so much fun.  Andrea has that effect on me. Just a nice fun spin to the day. Thank God. Once again, and always, Thank God.

big love,
Dina