Day 60

Wow. Yesterday was day 60. I'm starting to be able to delineate between past present and future. I feel so much less anxiety since my family arrived. It was such a giant relief when they walked through the door. I think for all of us. I could tell Ari was hugely relieved to see that mommy really was in NY while he went on with things in London. That people exist in different places. Isaac I could tell was just at a huge deficit for hugs. Has needed lots of them (my pleasure). Andy's had a content smile on his face. I think it's just our all being together...
Everyone says I'm doing well and looking good.  I take that. It's hard to embrace at times because of how I feel, still so weak, and shaky from one of the drugs I'm taking. Tremors in my hands. But I think compared to how I did look and seem before, this is a lot better.
Dr. Giralt said he might try to get me home before the holidays! I thought that was amazing. But I'm not going to depend on it too much because he doesn't always stick to what he says . But the idea of it is great.
Tomorrow is thanksgiving. We're going to spend it with Tracy and her family.  It's a thankful day, for sure. I feel so thankful to my donor. I hope she's going to have a beautiful day tomorrow, surrounded by family, or great friends, or both. I hope she feels my appreciation and my love.
Yesterday Ari asked me, "mom, what happened? Why'd you get sick?" And I said, "I don't know why. It just happened." And he asked, "but way back in the beginning, in Chicago, what happened?"
I answered, "the thing in my body that makes blood just started doing it wrong. So I had to get it fixed." And he said, suspiciously and said, "that's exactly what daddy said. Exactly!" Like we're in cahoots and that's not a good enough answer. Then he asked if it's ever going to happen again, and I said, "No, it's not".  It makes no sense for me to think in any other way. I feel so confident in this process and those new cells, and the fact that  I'm meant to be with my family a long long time.