Excited, Nervous.

Excited to go to NY. To see everybody. It's going to be soooooooooooo fun!!! Rented a flat with Susanne, Allison and Kaethe. And I know at least one evening I get to spend with all my lovely NY sistahs yelling into the Karaoke microphone. Now stop making that sticking your finger down your throat motion. Somewhere deep down don't you think Karaoke is fun? Somewhere? I do...
I just like the idea of being stuffed in this private room with all these lovely ladies.

What else? One time, long long ago. Early high school years, I was floating around NY with next weeks flat mates. We wondered to all the head shops, parks, bought "Indian" print tea shirts and Jerry Garcia posters. Then we left my bag on the subway. I remember, we got on at Astor Place and got off at Grand Central, and then realized my bag kept going. Insanely enough, some nice cop tracked it down in Harlem. So we got back on the train and had our absolutley first adventure to Harlem, amazed that NO ONE took this bag off the train.  All stereotypes had left our minds and it was the best thing that could have happened to four girls from Scarsdale that day. Maybe we could re-trace our footsteps next week, without loosing a bag this time...

I'm nervous because I have to leave these kids for a week. I don't want to. They're doing so well. Ari is improving by leaps and bounds in school with the extra help. He is NAILING reading. I'm so psyched for him. Isaac is feeling much more grounded and attached in the way he should be. It's only one week and ALL the therapists say it will be ok.

I'm nervous because I have to have the six month bone marrow biopsy next Thursday. Of course I have to have it. And my bloodwork looking perfect last week should be very reassuring. I keep forgetting to let it be reassuring. My head spins when I get pulled back into thinking about Leukemia and it's nastiness.  What a bitch. BUT, aren't the doctors and researchers brilliant? Think of ALL they've accomplished! Lives saved. I still feel so lucky to be walking around this earth in the flesh. And to get kisses and smell yummy little kid morning breath.

Excitement and Nerves. Likely to be my lifetime partners. Unless I reach enlightenment sometime soon. HaHa.