Well, I've known for about a week now that my No. 2 donor has been taken off the registry as they were deemed unable to donate for health reasons. I felt so cheeky at the beginning of all this. Like, "I'm so matchable. Lucky me. There's a bunch of 10/10 donors for me." And now, wow, it is down to the wire here. My third possible donor will be going for his or her medical exam on January 31st. Apparently, the transplant nurse told me, this person is younger than the first two donors which should hopefully make them more likely to be able to donate. I'm getting so nervous now. There seems there is a fourth donor too, but we don't even know if they're contactable yet. We won't even know that until a vial of their blood shows up at the lab here for testing. And so far, no vial. So all my eggs are in No. 3's basket. Hello, No. 3, I love you already.
I am eternally grateful for No. 3. Truly, I have these feelings of adoration. But I am nervous about the CMV virus. He or she is positive for it and I'll be at great risk for getting it after the transplant. I may be at less risk than others because I am not positive for it. But still, I am nervous. And if it wasn't this, I'd probably be nervous about something else anyway.
I want to thank again everyone who has been so amazing for making this effort to find me a perfect match. Moms and Dads at school have been registering here in the UK. People have been donating to Gift of Life in my name to help test their backlog of cheek swab samples. I am so grateful. Every cheek swab and every new member on the registry means another life might be saved.
Being home has been very sweet. I basically slept for the past four days. I had no idea I could sleep that much, but I had a pretty good idea of how sleep deprived I was coming out of the hospital. I think I have to get used to sleeping that much because everyone says you're so tired after the transplant.
I start to feel really down if I sleep too much. Cancer is this weird combo of feeling like "life is short. I want to do EVERYTHING!" and "Whoa, that chemo sure makes me exhausted!" I subscribe to the first approach. But I was really thrilled when yesterday my kids didn't seem to mind at all sitting in the big bed, eating pasta and soup and watching four episodes of "Friends" back to back. After the one with Ross in the armadillo suit trying to sell Hanuka to his kid, my mind was turning. (Although he did make for a very funny armadillo.) And it was very cozy for me, flanked on each side by a gorgeous child.
loveloveloveisallyouneed.
Dina
Hi Dina,
ReplyDeleteI received your blog from a friend and have been reading through it...it's amazing how incredibly close to home your story hits.
My mother was diagnosed with AML in March 2011 at the age of 51 (I am not sure of your age, but we were shocked as she was a very healthy, active woman). Like you, she also needs a transplant.
We are located in Nebraska, but we were told the University of Washington in Seattle was where she needed to go for her transplant as they had pioneered the allogeneic transplant. So after a very lengthy search and four rounds of chemo we were told in August 2011 they had identified an 8/10 match and in her case they were going to approve it. However, when she got out to Seattle the donor was deemed to be too risky due to antibodies her body had built and she was told to return home to Nebraska to undergo the last round of chemo and they would continue to search. Unfortunately, the search for an unrelated donor didn't work in our favor and they cannot find a donor to match her...but we were notified in December 2011 they had located cord blood units deemed to be safe and she is scheduled for transplant in February pending everything checks out.
I apologize if this catches you off guard, but for some reason I felt compelled to tell you our story after reading through your blog. I appreciate your honesty throughout because this certainly isn't an easy road, but like my mother you have a very positive attitude. I just wanted you to know you aren't alone because reading your blog made me realize finding a match isn't easy for others either.
I wish you the very best and will pray your donor #3 comes back with a clean bill of health and you will get your long awaited transplant.
Here's to a long, happy and healthy future!
All the best,
Ashley
This is the nicest thing. To have reached a really dedicated and loving daughter of a mama with AML. Ashley all the best to you and your mom and yes, your story helped make me feel much less alone. thank you!
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